Making the case for the Big Red Bus

Location: Scout Coffee, Moro Bay

Beverage: latte

Beans: HoneyCo Classic, Scout Coffee
Okay, so, hear me out... The Big Red Bus isn't that bad, in fact, it's a good idea. You know the bus I'm talking about, the double-decker, open on top, full of out-of-place looking tourists bus that drives around big cities as said tourists awkwardly stare and take photos of people on their way to work while some cheeseball guide cheerfully loads them up with tidbits and bad jokes. We all roll our eyes or glare in annoyance when they drive by, but I've actually taken a liking to them in recent years.

I promise you, I have good reasons for taking the tourist equivalent of a BigMac around a new town, and hopefully you will too in the future. From a practical stand point, they have their advantages, are they cheesy as hell? Most definitely! If all you want to get out of a ride on one of these buses, then hop on and sit like a petulant teenager, but if you want to enjoy them, you kinda have to lean into the cheeseball factor, like, hard. It's not as bad as it sounds, I promise.

The Practical

    First and foremost, I love hopping on the Big Red Bus-style tours when I get to a city for the first time as it gives me a sense of how the city is laid out and the general flow of the traffic and people. 

A few years back, I took my first solo trip to NYC, and on my first full day I spent the morning on a Hop-On, Hop-Off Red Bus; I thought I had a handle on the city's layout after looking at maps, but this trip gave me the chance to orient myself with landmarks that aren't visible on a 2D map. 

    In Amsterdam, our ride on the Red Bus also yielded discounted or free entrances to most of the city's museums, a discount ticket on the river cruise, use of the public transit for the duration of the CityPass we purchased to get on the bus, and a handful of other little discounts. 

    My biggest piece of advice is to see if the Big Red Bus fits into your schedule, and if the primary pick-up spot is easily accessible. Most companies will allow you to hop off and on at major points throughout the route, but only once you've begun the tour; most tours have one major "starting" point. While you can get the map on your phone, it will drain your battery, so if you're offered the paper map, take it. *If you're a scrapbooker it makes a fun background once you get home. 

The Fun

    Are you a trivia nerd like myself? If so, you may just find yourself with a Big Red Bus tour that loads you up with new facts about the city you're visiting! Sometimes, I love leaving some unscheduled time on my trip just in case I learn about a new exhibit, tiny museum, or event that I wouldn't otherwise know about. Often, I learn about these activities through tours (including the Big Red Bus) or the hotel lobby kiosk of pamphlet madness. Being organized on a trip is one thing, being so scheduled that you can't afford to either stop into someplace random or sit in a café people watching for an hour makes your vacation a job, and that is the last thing I want when I travel. 

    Sometimes your tour is full of people politely sitting and listening while taking in the sights. Other times, you find yourself next a group that would find a way to make a tour of the local dump a party. Both have their appeal, but you also need to go into one of these tours mentally prepared for both options. Whichever you find yourself in the middle of, lean in hard and enjoy the adventure. For the record, I say this as a massive introvert. Trust me, with the right attitude, you too can have fun (but bring yourself an extrovert buffer to grab the aisle seat, you know, just in case). 

    Finally, if you're looking for a recommendation for what to do after the tour, hit up the guides and the people selling tickets. They often know the good street food in the area, where to grab a legit coffee, and how to avoid tourists while getting around. Just be sure to ask when they have a quiet moment or are waiting for the tour begin, remember, they're being paid to sell tickets and get people onboard the bus. Nothing makes someone less friendly more than having their paycheck affected.

Other Versions of "The Big Red Bus"

• Bateaux-Mouches- those crazy tourist boats you see floating down the Seine in Paris. I would highly suggest taking the late dusk or evening ride; Paris is known as the "City of Light" for a reason, and the monuments are all lit up at the beginning of nightfall, which is actually quite beautiful. If there is a chance of rain, try to schedule for a day when the chance is less, or make sure to wear some solid, non-slip shoes and bring a good coat with a hood. Wind can happen and last time I was caught in Paris in a downpour a number of fallen umbrellas littered the road, and we ended up caught under one of the bridges when we first exited the boat as you have to go up a flight of stairs to get back up to street level, and well, let's just say there was an urban waterfall. *Note- nothing brings together random touristy strangers like being trapped under a bridge during a downpour; in our group of about 15, someone happened to have a pack of beer on them and we all hung out until it was possible to get up the steps!
  
• Walking Tours- 
• I don't have a ton of experience with these, but I did take a lovely one in Marseille! I found it on the AirBnB experiences site. (If you ever find yourself in Marseille, I would highly recommend a tour with Eric, he was high knowledgable, super friendly, spoke a handful of languages and was great at adjusting his tour to the size and make up of the group!) 
• I also booked a tour through Viator in Paris and had a not so great experience- I never got to take the tour. First things first, it was my fault that I was late, I misjudged how long my metro trip to get there would be and missed the train I should have taken to get to the Père Lachaise Cemetery. Beyond that, customer service when I got up from the metro and couldn't find the guide was absolutely terrible. The tour guide called my number, but there was no service in the metro, and it took over 10 minutes to get ahold of someone from the company. The rep said he couldn't refund or reschedule me, and that he couldn't get ahold of the guide, who wouldn't answer his phone once the tour had begun, he couldn't even give me an idea of their walking route when I said I could try to catch up with them, so I wandered the cemetery alone for 2 hours instead (I never crossed their path once). Lesson learned- double check instructions and meet times (and refund policies), and plan on arriving to the meet up point a half an hour early. 
• Last note- If you like to stay in hostels, a fair number of them have free walking tours a few days of the week, so double check when you book, and note the start time.
• Segway Tours- I have never done this, and I never will. No hate on them, I'm a massive klutz and will most likely up their insurance premiums. This is in everyone's best interest.
  
  
• CityPass self-tours- If they have a solid app or map (check the local Tourism Office), these can be amazing! If not, you're gross and sweaty with blisters with little payoff. My favorite so far has been Le Parcours de la Chouette (The Owl Trail) in Dijon, the little golden owl arrows on the road lead you around the city's biggest sites, and you can join the loop wherever you find an arrow. Pay attention to the various coded shapes, there are a few offshoots that take you off the main loop. If you can stop in at the Official Tourism Office, the (really nice) maps are 4€, make a great keepsake, and are very easy to read. If you buy the CityPass, I highly encourage you to download the app, you can plan activities, and access your discounts directly in the app. It also has an interactive map to show you where everything is.